Tunnel Vision to my Ultimate Self
From Sunset Boulevard Dreams to Destiny: A Journey of Manifestation, Perseverance, and Becoming.
The year is 2019, and the month is November. On the 30th, I will turn 21 years old. To honor this milestone, I took myself to California to embrace “the last week of being a teenager” in the City of Angels. I stayed in hostels around Santa Monica, taking the bus down to Sunset Boulevard with an overstuffed backpack and rose-tinted goggles. I could’ve used a walking stick if I’d really wanted to. I strolled the sidewalks, my mind filtering through my hopes and dreams as I passed car wash after gentlemen’s club—wondering, waiting, and cosmically anticipating what this town might have in store for me.
Cut to 2021, and my face is on a tall, vibrant billboard for the reality television series Serving the Hamptons—on that very same Sunset Boulevard strip I’d once wandered with fresh eyes two years prior. I was home on Long Island, in my bedroom, when I saw friends and strangers alike posting online about our billboard with excitement and cheers. This moment had nothing to do with ego; it was about seeing something mental turn physical.
The entertainment world is both a sanctuary and a home base for me. The silver screen holds the power to melt reality out of your hands, allowing you to surrender to the romantic, the comedic, the grotesque, and the captivating. The power of “I am” transcends words. There’s spell-casting at play when you no longer refer to yourself and your abilities as “I want to be” or “I want to do this.” You are because you’re doing it—right now. I am an actor.
And who doesn’t want to be? Right? Some may disagree, as it’s a world they want nothing to do with. But I’ve only ever wanted this, and so, I am. There are no guidelines or rules for dreamers. When I look back on my week and a half spent in Los Angeles at nineteen—parading around solo, sightseeing, and ordering food that was too expensive just for the view of the pier—I remember a woman staying in the same hostel room. She could’ve been someone’s auntie or mother. From her bottom bunk, she said, “Do you know how many girls are on the train right now going out for auditions?”
I’ve never forgotten that small exchange because it was dripping with truth. I had made it to the land of milk and honey, but I wasn’t putting myself out there enough. My eyes were seeing new sights and a few celebrities, but I wasn’t killing myself for my art. Are we meant to? The “starving artist” archetype remains a blueprint for the modern creative struggle. But it doesn’t need to be so drab—and let there be no confusion about the power of true grit.
I don’t have an agent. No one represents me. I got my first television break merely by being in the right place at the right time. When our series came out, it was up to us—the cast—to decide how involved we wanted to be. The power was in our hands. Social media played a major role in promoting both ourselves and the Serving the Hamptons brand. Yet, I was uninterested in that tactical side. Still, I knew the impact of working with social media rather than against it. I chose the latter.
I knew I wouldn’t be boxed into reality television forever because I crave more. And so, with respect, I gave two entertaining and rewarding seasons my all before hanging up the towel in the summer of 2023.
With all that being said, I put on blinders toward anyone or anything that didn’t serve me during that period of my life. Since that fateful decision in 2023, I know in my heart that destiny has been following me—and she’s taking her sweet time. The spiritual realm mirrors this physical one; it plays with us, teases us. May we always stay connected to the little child that still frolics—while keeping our heads screwed on tight enough to make logical decisions and brave, calculated risks.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. And no magic will simply walk up to your front door and introduce itself kindly. When you go out into the world, you invite the cosmos to observe you, to wonder about you. There is someone out there right now who longs to be seen, to be looked at with awe and interest.
Perseverance is a star player. Knock down invisible doors. Ask questions. There’s a voice inside all of us yearning to be heard. You never know the impact a few words can have—especially for someone who’s never heard them before. It becomes food for thought. There are no rules, and there’s no timeline for dreamers. There’s only now.
May you put on whatever blinders you need to focus—on your craft, your heart, your family. The constant distractions, like social media, can be either an aid or a terror. I thrive without it, because with perseverance and belief, I know I won’t need it. If you’re on the other end of that spectrum, may a fire light beneath your feet as you dive headfirst into this technological world. There’s no right or wrong way to follow your dreams.
Manifestation is real. When you back that miracle work with good karma, true grit, and respect for all, your world will crack open.
My twenty-sixth birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and I’ll keep listening to my own words. There is luck—fun, playful, intoxicating luck—that gives you a high and makes you believe it’ll come around again. I was lucky at twenty-one, filming this series for two wonderful summers, building both business and human bonds. But it may not come around like that again. So I take what I’ve learned and bring it to every table I sit at—job interviews, auditions, writing assignments.
May the degrees you’ve earned guide you in this ever-spinning world. And may the absence of them never hinder you from your breakthrough.
Again, there are no rules. There are also no guarantees. But nothing happens if you don’t give it your best. You cannot be discouraged when you’ve given your all. You will be exhausted, hungry, and probably longing for a hug from someone who gets it at the end of each day.
Then again—I said probably.
