How She Made a Long Distance Relationship Work

Over the last decade and with an ocean between us, I have successfully maintained a close friendship with weekly communication with someone who lives in Australia (I live in Texas). We met briefly in Chicago, 10 years ago, while on separate trips and formed an immediate bond that countless miles and drastic time zone differences couldn't impact. No matter our distance, we've always remained close at heart and they are truly one of my closest and dearest friends.

Long distance can be a make-or-break experience for a relationship. It forces you to communicate more intentionally and make the time you have together truly count, often creating a deeper connection than simply seeing someone every day. I've learned that if you look for the silver lining, distance doesn't have to create separation it can actually strengthen the connection. Sometimes, being apart reminds you just how much you value someone and makes you more intentional about showing up for them.

There is no "normal" when it comes to staying connected. Create your own normal. I travel a lot for work, so my husband and I have learned it's less about quantity and more about quality. FaceTime, text, send the random message, whatever works for you. Connection doesn't have to look a certain way, it just has to be intentional.

I've learned that distance doesn't kill relationships, lack of effort does. Life gets chaotic, calendars are rude and sometimes loving someone looks like a three-minute phone call from completely different worlds, but my people know one thing: if I love you, I'm showing up, miles be damned.

We survive the distance by leaving pieces of ourselves for the other to find through words, songs, laughter, teasing, and the little signals that say, "I'm still here." Missing each other has taught us that staying connected is not about always being close; it is about knowing one another so deeply that, no matter how often the pathway disappears, we still recognize each other when it returns.