Rachel Blankenship

I would say taking the opportunities as they come and letting things progress organically has been key for me. Having great mentors has been absolutely critical to my success. I spent my first years with the attorney who originally recruited me from event planning, then 15 years with a phenomenal attorney in Johnson County, Kansas who I cannot speak higher of. Now I'm with a firm founded by individuals who identify in the queer community, and they sought me out specifically to work in their family law department because they wanted a strong department to support queer marriages. Each of these mentors and opportunities shaped my career in important ways, and I've learned to embrace change and new directions rather than resist them.

The best career advice I ever received was to own your mistakes. Nobody wants to hear excuses, and nobody wants to hear the crap that comes along with it when you're called out on a mistake. Own it from the start and learn from it. That's why they call it practicing law - I make mistakes every single day, and I own every single one of them, and will always do so. You don't need an excuse from me, you need me to fix it and not do it again. This advice has shaped how I approach my work and has earned me respect in my field.

Get a mentor another woman who has the same values as you. But find them naturally, organically. You don't really pick a mentor, in my opinion - you find each other. I've had several through the course of my life and I still have them now. They do different things for me in different aspects. I've got this wonderful female mentor and friend in the nonprofit world that helps me there. I have three or four phenomenal mentors, both male and female, in the mediation field. In the paralegal field, I am the mentor now. It all happens in different ways. You know, they say that people come into your life for a season or a reason - maybe that's how your mentors work, too. Don't force it, just be open to those connections when they present themselves.

I would say that although times have definitely changed and I've watched it change, women in the legal field still get some pushback, not necessarily by judges or anything like that, but by society. The actual practice of law has gotten way more accepting of women, and I've watched that happen. When I first entered the field at that very first job, there were no women judges, there were no women prosecutors, there were no women attorneys that I really met or dealt with. I watched that transition first and foremost in the prosecutor's office and the public defender's office, and then eventually into private practice, and finally now I have several female friends who are judges. The Missouri Supreme Court is made up primarily of female judges, and the clerk is a female for the first time in history. But at the same time, you still get that societal stereotype - if you're an attorney, that means you're a bulldog, you're rough, or you're not a good parent. I think the thing that always kills me is when somebody says, oh my gosh, you're such a good parent for what you do. How does what I do not make me qualified as a parent? I still feel like there's societal stereotypes of what a female attorney is, or could or should be.

I value honesty and clarity, and collaboration over competition, from my kids, my coworkers, and the people that I partner with. I'm not out here to take jobs from people. I'm not out here to fight over who has what client. There are enough people out here in the world suffering and going through things that working together to make their lives better is the better option for me. I don't do competition for clients and all that crap, it just drives me insane. I want to focus on actually helping people rather than competing with other professionals. These values guide everything I do, both in my work and in how I raise my children.