A mentor once told me, "Don't let setbacks define your story. Let them refine it." Looking back, the moments that challenged me most became the foundation for the leader, mother, and professional I am today.

My mentor taught me that true leadership isn't about having all the answers, but about fostering an environment where everyone feels empowered to ask the hard questions and find solutions together. That wisdom shifted my focus from being the sole expert to being the chief cultivator of expertise in others.

One conversation with the right mentor can change not only how you see your business but also how you see yourself. The greatest lesson I've carried forward is that growth begins when you embrace coaching, stay open to learning, and have the courage to act on the guidance you're given.

My mentor asked me, "What was my biggest fear?" and I replied to her that "I did not want to be an external success while being an internal mess." That Q&A session with my mentor helped me recalibrate my life and discover what true success and happiness meant. That has been a driving force ever since.

One manager changed the course of my career simply by seeing potential in me before I saw it in myself. He often told me, "I'll let you do whatever your heart desires," because he recognized my curiosity, attention to detail, and drive to learn. As I took on increasingly complex responsibilities, from network engineering to leading large-scale technology deployments, he saw that I was naturally organizing teams, creating processes, and driving projects forward. He encouraged me to pursue project management, and that confidence ultimately shaped the career I've built over the past two decades.

For years I had low self esteem, and walked around with my head down. One day my sister said, "hold your head high, because people treat you the way that you treat yourself."

I have been blessed with many mentors that have made an impact in my life. My earliest mentor is my Dad. My Dad used to say to me, "Life is like a smorgasbord. Try a little bit of everything before you decide what you like best. Once chosen, give it your all!"

I've been blessed to have plenty of mentors throughout my childhood and during my adulthood but one that will forever stick with me is my substitute college instructor Daniel Fletcher. On the last day of summer instruction, following our final oral presentations, Mr. Fletcher was pretty constructive about our communication skills and he brought Toastmasters into the conversation, as a suggestion to become stronger communicators. Long story short, I received a final grade of B in the class and 13 years after I first met Dan Fletcher, I'm now Distinguished Toastmaster Jessica A. James. During one of our recent conversations, Mr. Fletcher shared this quote with me, "When one person positively influences 100 lives and they in turn 100 and so on like ripples on a quiet pond's surface when a stone is thrown in it." This quote applies to my mentorship as a successful youth leadership program coordinator and successful club coach in Toastmasters. Without Mr. Fletcher, I would not be writing a book about my journey to Distinguished Toastmaster and the next chapters.

When I think about the leader I aspire to be, I think of an amazing mentor: Tammy Deshazer. She taught me that the greatest gift a leader can give isn't authority, it's making someone believe they are capable of more than they imagined, simply because you believed in them first.

The greatest gift my mentor gave me was a new perspective: that leadership is measured not by a title, but by kindness, fairness, and generosity. He taught me to find my voice, embrace the power of small acts of kindness, and believe that each of us can make a difference. Those lessons continue to guide me today as Executive Director of his family foundation.

The soundest advice came from a former superintendent, Michelle Loyd-Bey. She said, "You will recognize the day when you disagree with the advice of a superior. Respectfully, you will begin your own personal journey to provide children the best possible education with your beliefs and commitment."

A mentor once reminded me that leadership isn't measured by how much we can carry, it's measured by what we make possible for others. That wisdom shaped my journey and still guides my work today: build sustainably, lead with integrity, and never sacrifice yourself in service to the mission.

One conversation that made a big difference for me was when my executive coach talked about doing relationship maps for people that you work with. So that you intentionally prioritize getting to know them on a more personal level. It can be so easy to get so focused on work that you forget the relationship pieces that make the work worthwhile.

A mentor/life coach convinced me that I have a lot of wisdom to share based on my age and life experiences. She encouraged me to write a Life Lessons book which has led to a public speaking journey and an opportunity to change the lives of other people.

Success is making the most out of the opportunities you are presented with.