The Question She Wishes She Had Asked Sooner

"What is this threshold inviting me to become?" I wish I had asked it sooner because when we stop resisting the unknown and begin navigating it with curiosity, thresholds become invitations to grow into a version of ourselves we may not yet be able to see. "As you start to walk on the way, the way appears." Rumi

I wish I had asked myself sooner, "Why don't I trust my own answer?" I've learned that sometimes I already know what I want or need, but I spend too much time looking outside myself for permission to choose it.

I wish I had asked myself sooner "What if it all works out?" For much of my career, I was more comfortable asking, "What if this doesn't work?" I naturally looked for risks, anticipated obstacles, and prepared for what could go wrong. Those instincts served me well as a leader, but they also meant I sometimes spent more energy preparing for failure than imagining success. At one point, I wrote a simple question on my whiteboard: "What if it all works out?!" It became a reminder to trust my experience, my instincts, and the possibility that things could turn out better than I imagined. Looking back now, I realize it really did all work out. I wish I had asked that question sooner not because everything always works out exactly as we hope, but because believing that it can changes how you show up. It gives you permission to take risks, trust yourself, and move forward with possibility instead of fear.

I wish I'd asked "Who am I leaving out?" instead of "How do I do this right?" because inclusive leadership starts with noticing who isn't in the room, not perfecting the plan for who is.

"Was I truly being valued for everything I was giving, or had I become so focused on proving my worth that I forgot to ask whether I was being valued at all?" I wish I had asked myself that sooner, because sometimes the biggest lesson isn't learning to give more it's learning to recognize when you've already given enough and trusting God to lead you toward what's next.

Can I really hear God speak to me for my life, destiny, purpose and challenges? The answer to that question is a resounding, YES! Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice and the voice of a stranger they will not follow." I wish I had learned to listen, recognize and obey the voice of God sooner in life. Heeding His voice guarantees His blessing of a productive life by His criteria, not the shifting tides of culture or society!

I wish I would have asked my younger self, "What feeds your soul?" When we align our work with our passions, it doesn't feel like work. It feels like a calling. Find your people. Find the environment that is healthy and conducive for/with your passions.

Throughout my career, I have been fortunate to work with world-class organizations, earn high compensation, lead with passion, and collaborate with high-performing teams. For a long time, I measured my success solely by these metrics, even when I felt called to do more. No regrets! Having a work-life balance and enjoying your work is paramount.

The question I wish I had asked myself sooner is, "What would I do if I trusted my own instincts?" Early in my career, I think I knew when it was time to speak up, make a change, take a risk, or choose a different path. However, I sometimes waited for reassurance or the "right" time. Through the years my experience gave me perspective. You don't have to have every answer or be the smartest person in the room to trust what you've learned along the way. I also learned not to be intimidated by the person that thinks they are the smartest person in the room. Had I asked myself that question sooner, I might have embraced change sooner, worried less about making the perfect decision or letting people down, and had more confidence in my own voice. Today, it's something I try to pass along to others: listen, learn, ask questions, and don't be afraid to speak up and trust your instincts. You know in your heart the right thing to do.

I wish I would have asked someone sooner how to establish and run a successful nonprofit. It would have mattered in the impact we are making in the lives of these young women and their babies.

"Am I making this decision because it's what I truly want, or because it's what success is supposed to look like?" I wish I had asked myself that question much sooner. For years, I was focused on reaching the next milestone: the next opportunity, the next title, the next accomplishment. I became very good at asking, "What's the smartest next move?" but not always, "Is this the life I actually want to build?" That distinction matters. As women, especially ambitious women, we can become so focused on proving that we are capable that we forget we also get to decide what success means for us. It doesn't always have to mean the biggest title, the highest salary, or the most impressive opportunity. Sometimes success is having the confidence to choose what aligns with your values, your priorities, and the life you want outside of your career. I still believe in ambition. I still set big goals. But I've learned that growth isn't only about climbing higher, it's also about becoming more intentional about what you're climbing toward. If I had asked that question sooner, I might not have made completely different choices. But I would have made them with more confidence, trusted myself sooner, and spent less time wondering whether someone else's definition of success should be mine.

I wish I had only asked for help! Take advantage of providing work that was collaborative. I wish I had inquired about further education but I didn't know! I had been in the same field for years and once I transferred to another field, I was unaware initially. It would have clearly shown interest and understood the direction my position was going according to my superiors.

I wish I had asked "why?" and "Is this necessary?" more. It would have mattered before I signed documents since everything is negotiable.