For years, I mistook the frantic pace of corrugated box sales for real progress, running on the empty fuel of constant urgency. But when I lost the love of my life, my husband Billy, last year, the world stopped and so did I. Retreating to the quiet rhythm of our farm, I finally found the space to breathe and heal. Slowing down taught me that survival mode isn't living. Today, I still take care of my clients, but I do it with a deeply shifted heart; I've traded the endless hustle for the peace Billy always wished for me, discovering that the truest progress is simply being fully present for the life we have left to live.

I used to think progress meant moving faster, carrying more, and proving I could survive anything. Slowing down taught me that real influence comes from being present enough to lead with purpose, protect my peace, and give my family, my students, and myself the version of me that is whole, not just productive.

I didn't choose to slow down, life happened. But it turned into a blessing, as I've had time to prioritize, write, and set a new course!

When I slowed down and stopped chasing perfection, I found peace. And in that peace I finally began to grow.

The biggest lesson I've learned is simple: urgency is not the same as importance. Some of the most valuable work happens when we pause long enough to think, reflect, and choose our next step intentionally. I used to think slowing down meant falling behind. Now I know it was the only way I could finally move forward. The most important promotion I ever received wasn't at work; it was being promoted from surviving life to actually living life.

I'm a classic Type A personality, and I love improving things. I'll come across an idea or project that would genuinely help my business, and my instinct is, "Great. I need to do that now." The light bulb moment was realizing that just because something is a good idea doesn't mean it's the right priority today. I was creating my own sense of urgency and getting the dopamine hit from tackling the next project, without stopping to ask whether it was actually moving me closer to my biggest goals. Now I'm trying to ask a different question: not "Is this worth doing?" but "Is this worth doing right now?" That simple shift has made me feel more focused—and a lot less overwhelmed.

I learned that success isn't something you achieve by staying busy every minute of the day. When I stopped treating rest as a reward and started treating it as a business strategy, I became more thoughtful in my approach, made better decisions, and focused my energy where it created the greatest impact.

I paused my academic career in 2020. I was tired of competition, lack of solidarity and reciprocity or no long term relationships.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's self-care. It's showing up for you, BEFORE you show up for the world!

Sometimes life forces us into situations that we are not prepared for or make us feel "stuck in the muck" as I call it. This shifts us into survival mode, which feels heavy and uncomfortable. Taking some time to pause, allows yourself to reflect on what is not working and this helps to shift gears in new directions. I like to challenge myself with new things that may be outside of my comfort zone. By doing this it changes your mindset, allowing new experiences to come forward. During this time, you must Live in The Moment and Embrace the Journey!

I learned that living in survival mode can make you feel productive while disconnecting you from what truly matters. Slowing down gave me the perspective to focus on my wellbeing, relationships, and the work that creates lasting value.

Urgency made everything feel important, which meant nothing actually was. The moment I paused, my real priorities sorted themselves out, and the work got better because I stopped confusing motion with progress.

Upon retirement, I eagerly jettisoned the non-stop stream of required performances and donor events on nights and weekends. I began to write my first book and realized I needed three unscheduled days per week devoted to writing so Monday was quickly added to the weekend mix. The Mentor's Gift hit bookshelves in September, and my three-day unscheduled pattern is now permanent!

I've always believed that people matter. Whether it's at work, at home, or in my community, I've always believed everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, fairness, and respect, regardless of their title or position. Building genuine relationships has always been important to me. For years, I measured success by how much I could accomplish and how many lives I could positively impact. It took an unexpected season in my life to realize that slowing down doesn't mean you're moving backward. Sometimes it's exactly what you need to move forward. A few years ago, my life went in a direction I never expected. I had built a career I loved and was excited about what was next. Then everything changed. In a short period of time, I lost the career I had worked so hard for while facing some of the hardest moments of my life. I wasn't just slowing down. I felt completely lost. Without my career and the constant momentum, I wasn't sure who I was anymore. As time passed, I slowly started putting the pieces back together. Therapy helped. So did learning to be patient with myself. For the first time in my life, I realized I didn't have to earn my worth by always doing more or constantly proving myself. I could still care deeply about people without carrying the weight of everything around me. That season also taught me the value of adapting. I stepped into a completely different industry, one I never imagined myself in. It challenged me, stretched me, and reminded me that growth often comes from the places we never planned to go. By staying curious, continuing to learn, and showing up every day, I found a career that I'm genuinely proud of. Looking back now, I can see that what felt like the end of one chapter became the beginning of another. It brought my family back home, surrounded by the people who love us and have supported us through every season. My husband, Cole, was my rock through it all. He believed in me on the days I struggled to believe in myself, and I'll always be grateful for the strength, love, and unwavering support he gave me when I needed it most. One lesson has stayed with me through it all. Life is going to throw things at all of us that we never see coming. We don't get to choose every challenge, but we do get to choose how we respond. We decide how we catch the ball and what we do with it next. For me, the answer was courage, adaptability, a willingness to keep learning, and leaning on the people who loved me when I couldn't find my own strength. That season didn't change what matters most to me. I still believe people deserve kindness, fairness, and respect, regardless of their title, position, or circumstances. I still believe in building genuine relationships and treating people the way I'd want to be treated. The difference now is that I've learned to extend that same kindness to myself. Today, I still measure success by the impact I have on the people around me, but I've learned that taking care of myself is part of that, too. It's okay to slow down. It's okay to breathe. And it's okay to give yourself the same grace you so freely give to everyone else.

I stopped seeing chronic mental disorders as an invisible battle that I struggled with, instead, I started to tell myself that I'm living with it.

For a long time, I operated under the assumption that constant urgency was the only path to progress. I measured my value by the sheer volume of tasks I could juggle simultaneously, believing that if I stopped moving fast, I would fall behind. It took the exhausting reality of burnout to finally force a pause and make me realize that living in survival mode was actually hindering my growth rather than helping it. When I chose to slow down and stop rushing myself, my entire approach to my career and leadership transformed. It was in that intentional stillness that I surrendered my timeline to God, realizing that human hustle cannot replicate His perfect timing. God forced me to slow down and focus on obtaining my bachelor's degree. Once I achieved that milestone, He pushed me completely out of my comfort zone and ushered me into entirely new territories so that I could lift up, help, and encourage other women who are navigating their own professional journeys. Embracing this deliberate, faith-driven pace allowed me to shift my focus from merely surviving day-to-day demands to building a sustainable, long-term foundation for my professional life. This profound change in mindset brought a clarity that helped me prioritize what truly mattered, leading me to pursue meaningful advancements like working toward my SHRM-SCP. Stepping out of the cycle of constant rush did not stall my career, it gave me the space to lead with bold intention, secure in the knowledge that every ounce of my success and all the glory belongs entirely to God.

Every woman has something valuable to contribute. My goal is to help women find the words and the confidence to share it with the world.